Introducing "The Trick" ~ or ~ How the Language of 3BPPs Was Born
And How the Woodlands Announced "CUT!" When it Determined the Monkey Had Said Enough
Early this year, on April 17, 2025, the Woodlands Wanderer pulled up a seat on Little Red, next to Gooseneck Cove, and made an attempt to explain one of the origin myths he’s invented to comfort himself (poor fella, at an early age he figured out all the popular myths found aboard this planet were bullshit stories invented by classic-conmen living 1000s of years ago, thus, finding himself an outsider to every locally parished population, he’s busy building his own). The origin myth that was on his mind that day, was his rough explanation of how our magical use of Symbolism was born.
He was, per usual, in full digressive mode, circling around aimlessly, while imagining he’s going in the right direction ~ no matter, the wonder of this sitdown video was how the Woodlands took charge. Clearly he was headed towards another bizarro digression ~ right after making something resembling a summing up worth thinking about ~ when the Woodlands SHUT HIM DOWN. You gotta see it to Believe it ~ or Not.
Ah, but what really brings delight to this magical tale of one man’s working mythology is that 26 days later, on May 13, 2025, he tried explaining his theory to Agustin Fuentes at a bookstore near a place called Hahvahd, and when he got it off his chest, Prof. Fuentes laughed heartily, and told him there’s a woman who’s just written a book that says something exactly along the same lines! Essentially saying, “and you thought you’d come up with something original” ~ no, not really, more like saying, “hey fella, someone who knows more than you ever will has padded your nonsense with proofs.” Hence this monkeyman’s delightful departure that evening from the land of Hahvahd, which helps explain why he got lost driving home ~ for whenever this 3BPP falls into a state of joy he feels totally out of place, his whereabouts appear foreign, and he’s in his comfort zone: Lost and Confused. But I digress…
Now, over three months later, having ordered said book from a locally owned store mysteriously calling itself Tatnuck (no one knows why…even those who will give you a sham explanation), picking it up last Thursday, and giving it a quickie read over the last five days ~ he’s ready to start the come-and-get-it religion of the 21st century by writing his very own Goo Testament. Using the typical tricks of tell-all tales (In the beginning…) ~ he shall plotline the verses of how and why (millenia upon millenia having passed) Now it Can be Told :: The Legend of the mind-controlling impositions willed upon us All by those divine spirits that magically pop out of the portals to alternate universes women sometimes call their very own “down under” ~ or coochalinas ~ spirits who always arrive specially infused with that goddity of spritelyness that made the multiverse cosmos turn on the lightshow around 14 billion years ago ~ but who, when they arrive here, can only mouth one word back-to-back, over and over (goo-goo, goo-goo) ~ Yea, with their overpowering wilfulness, these little divines were personally responsible for bringing about All the successes and failures our species have managed to accomplish in the last 150,000 years or so thanks to our way with words-:—> which means we now know who to blame for the mess we find ourselves in ~ the newborns!
